Dysfunctionally Functional
by Nympho Junky
Summary: The saying often goes that the person you hate the most is really the one you love the most, and if that's the case then these two scientists must be head over heels for one another.
1. Chapter 1: The New Neighbors

"Jerry, what are you doing?" Beth asked from her spot on the couch. Her husband had been peeking through the curtains for nearly 15 minutes.

After a brief shush he gestured her over to the window. "Come check out the new neighbors."

"New neighbors?"

Her attention completely torn from TV, Beth made her way over to her husband to join in on the nosiness. A rather large moving truck was parked in the driveway just across the street and low and behold there were the neighbors moving their stuff into their new home. The married couple murmured amongst themselves, secretly critiquing the various boxes and items and the family moving them.

"Oh that's a nice dresser."

"Hey, ships in a bottle"

"You think that's an antique?"

Across the street, a woman with short, wavy black hair stood in the doorway, and waved a young man over to help her move something, while a man with nicely-kept light brown hair was trying (and failing) to lift a worn old punching bag out of the truck. A short girl with long black hair stood in the yard and simply watched as he fell from the back of the truck and was trapped under the crushing weight of the bag. She wore an unfaltering expression on her face that was very uncaring as she casually grabbed the bag and drug it off of him, paying no mind to his pained whines as his skin was scraped between the bag and pavement.

"Sssss ouch," Jerry gave a sympathetic wince, watching the man rub his fresh scratches as he got up. After a few more minutes of spying on their neighbors, and not seeing anyone else, Beth chimed happily.

"Well this is nice. A mother, a father, a son, and a daughter. Just like us."

"Yeah except they don't have a science-raving alcoholic living in their garage."

"Nobody asked for the negativity, Jerry. I'm trying be optimistic here. You know how long it's been since we had new neighbors, and I think this might be a good opportunity for us and the kids. Let's go say hi," she proceeded towards the front door, but was quickly halted by a tug on her arm.

"W-what? Are you crazy? We can't just _go say hi._ We'd be coming on way too strong. We gotta wait things out, let them get all settled in, and then let them come to us," Jerry crossed his arms in confidence.

Beth gave him an apathetic stare that said _really_?

"I'm going to say hi," she blankly stated walking away from her husband, "Summer! Morty! Come downstairs, we're gonna go say hi to the new neighbors."

Beth proceeded to the door to the garage to fetch her father. She peeked her head in and could see sparks flying from some sort of alien gadget he was working on.

"Da-"

"I already heard what you said Beth, and the answer is no. I don't want to meet our crapass neighbors," Rick delivered his usual amount of bluntness.

"C'mon dad, please, I just want make a good first impression, with every member of the family. It's been so long since we had someone new in the neighborhood, and I think forming some new bonds could be good for all of us."

"Beth I-I-I'm a man of science, not hospitality. I-If I wanted to smile at people I don't know and pretend I give a shit about anything they do, I'd go get a job at Walmart."

Beth sighed in defeat and simply left Rick to whatever it is he was doing. Winning an argument against him was rare, and she didn't feel like this whole thing was worth it. She figured she could make a good enough impression without him.

* * *

"Hi," Beth greeted halfway across the street.

The short haired woman immediately straightened herself up and waved to the family proceeding toward her. "Hello," her voice was quite elegant, but seemed to have some strain behind it.

Beth reached her hand out for a handshake, which was gladly returned by the women before them. "I'm Beth. This is my husband Jerry, and our kids Morty and Summer. We live right across the street," she introduced as each one of her family members gave a small wave.

"Nice to meet all of you, I'm Candy," she presented herself before turning to call the rest of her family. They each proceeded out of the house and made their way over to her. The man from before, along with some new bandages on his arms and face, slung his arm around Candy's waist.

"This is my husband, Johnathan," Candy presented, "Our son, Drew and our daughter, Ash."

The kids definitely mimicked their parents in the looks department. Their daughter taking after her mother with the silky black hair and grey eyes, while their son took after his father with a tall frame and light brown hair. Drew gave a slight smile and wave over to Summer and Morty, but didn't really pay them much attention. Ash was a different story. She kept her glare piercing and stoic, making no attempt to interact with them. It gave Summer a queasy feeling and made Morty shrink internally.

"Well I figured we'd just come over and give you a nice welcome into the neighborhood."

"I hope were not coming on too strong or anything," Jerry said his hands up defensively, "Wouldn't want you to think we're weirdos or anything."

At that, Jonathan's expression changed to one of annoy. "Oh trust me, you're probably the least weird thing we've seen for a while."

And as if on cue an ear-shattering whir began to emit from their home as well as a blinding blue light that seemed to illuminate the entire house. Everyone in the yard instinctively covered their ears and squeezed their eyes shut, and as fast as it started it was over. It took a moment for everyone to correct themselves with their ears still ringing and their eyes adjusting back to the natural light of the sun.

"What the hell was that?" Summer asked a bit phased.

"Oh don't mind that," Candy gave a wave of her hand, "That's just my sister."

"Your sister!?" Beth asked now wide eyed.

"Yeah she's a… scientist. She does crazy experiments and builds weird gadgets and stuff all the time."

"And she doesn't care if any of her crap endangers our lives and or ruins our futures," Johnathan deadpanned.

"John!" Candy hissed through clenched teeth.

"Don't worry. Our family's pretty used to stuff like that," Morty assured.

"Really?" Their whole family said in unison.

"Oh yeah my dad pulls stuff like this all the time. He's a scientist too."

"Wow I didn't think we'd ever find someone that understands the crazy stuff we have to deal with on a daily basis."

" _Maybe_ we can talk about it more at dinner tonight. That is if you'll come."

"That sounds lovely! We'll definitely be there," Candy clapped her hands together.

"Great, we'll see you then," Beth herded her family back towards the house.

"Oh this is so great. Our first night here and we've already been invited to dinner. What should we wear? Oooo we should bring a gift…"

Her voice trailed off as she headed towards the house, her husband trailing behind her, leaving their kids to stare at the family retreating across the street.

"You have a bad feeling about this too?" Drew looked down at his sister.

"I have a bad feeling about everything."

* * *

Hours later…

"Ash, Drew! You ready to go to dinner?" Candy called upstairs.

They both came downstairs dressed in white button up shirts and khaki pants and skirt. Both had less than pleased expressions on their face.

"You two look great," she said straightening the thin ribbon around Ash's shirt collar.

"I guess we're all ready to go."

"Wait! Just… hold on a second. I'm gonna go try to get her to come with us."

"Again? Candy, she said no the first three times what makes you think she'll change her mind now? Besides, why do you want to bring her? She's not exactly a social butterfly."

"She's my big sister, John. I'm not giving up on her," She said as she opened the door to the basement, "I promise I won't take long."

Candy had made this descent down the stairs three times already today, but this one felt the most unsettling. The old wooden steps let out an uneasy creak with each step she took on her way down. Upon reaching the bottom she looked around at what could be called the basement. The smell of cigarette smoke wilted the air. A metal work desk, littered with papers and all sorts of gizmos and tools, sat in the corner. Makeshift shelves were on every wall scattered with chemical-filled bottles, inventions, and… did something in that jar just blink? Wires of various girth snaked along the walls and across the floor, all going every which way, and in the very center of it all was a…a…well Candy wasn't really sure what it was. It seemed to be the base of some sort of vehicle and underneath it she could see her sister's legs sticking out.

"What?" Her voice was sharp and piercing.

"Just came to see if you'd changed your mind about the dinner."

"No. Leave."

She wasn't really surprised at her sister's coldness, but she was not going to be so easily deterred this time. "Are you sure? I mean the family across the street seems really nice. They even have a scientist of their own in their family."

With a fed up sigh of irritation Candy's sister pushed herself from under her current project to face her. She rubbed her temples in attempt to soothe the nerves her sister was direly working on

"I've got much better ways I could waste my time, but a dinner with the neighbors ain't one of them," she said turning away and walking over to her work desk.

"Oh c'mon just meet them."

"Candy, I didn't wanna meet this family. What makes you think I wanna meet that one!?"

"Fine… if that's how you want it" Candy said turning and walking ever so slowly to the stairs. "I'll leave you…alone…here…all by yourself…in the cold confines of our basement…alone…without anyone…to annoy you…or bother you…or pester you…or-"

"HOLY SHIT OK, I'M COMING! Just shut the fuck up!"

She stomped past her up the stairs in pure irritation, while Candy gave a small cheer of victory.

"I knew you'd come around."


	2. Chapter 2: Guns and Cobbler

Hours of prepping, cleaning, and a considerable amount of bickering finally ended in a nicely set table and a ham dinner that looked as if it had been ripped right out of some fancy cooking magazine. Beth briefly admired her handiwork before the doorbell finally rang.

"Oh that must be them."

Beth went to answer the door, briefly stopping in front of the mirror to straighten herself out.

"Hi." She chimed happily as she opened the door.

"Hey, I brought Chardonnay," Candy practically sang.

Beth's eyes went wide and she nearly began to drool at the sight of the bottle of fancy, shimmering liquid. She always drank from pretty cheap wine coolers and low-brand wines, so a classy, expensive bottle of Chardonnay shined brighter than a 14-karat diamond in her eyes.

"Welcome to the Smith home," she said just a little too eagerly. She hooked her arm around Candy's and escorted her in with the rest following. Her sister lingered in the doorway for just a moment more before mentally shoving herself inside. It wasn't until she entered the dining room and quite crassly took a seat that her presence was actually noticed. All eyes, at least all Smith eyes, were on her as they took in this new character, and _quite_ the character she was. She wore a simple button-up shirt and black shorts, followed by thigh high socks and combat boots. A smooth white lab coat pieced it all together, tracing over the curves of her body that sat on an able-bodied frame. Her hair, eerily resembling the color of blood, was pulled back into a ponytail with a scrunchie and trailed down her back, and her bangs not-so-elegantly framed the permanent bitchface that graced her features. But that's not what really caught eyes, or _eye._ Her left eye was normal enough; grey just like her sister's, but her right eye was hidden behind a white medical eye patch, leaving you to only wonder what lay underneath: Scars? Freaky birthmark? Nothing at all?

"Oh, I uh… take it this must be your sister," Beth piped up, bringing her family out of their stupors.

"Yep," Candy answered proudly, walking over and grasping her shoulders, "I'd love for you all to meet my sister, Cassiopea."

"Call me Cassi," she quickly stated.

"It's very nice to meet you Cassi."

"Yeah always nice to have another potential threat in the neighborhood," Jerry grumbled, which earned him a sharp elbow from his wife.

"You remind me of that one chick from that zombie movie," Summer said without a second thought.

"Which zombie movie?" her brother questioned.

"Ya know the one with the virus and that corporation trying to contain it…"

"Resident Evil," Rick interjected, "And the woman you're thinking about is Michelle Rodriguez." He casually took his seat, and took a moment to give a once over of the woman in front of him. His eyes trailed over her form, taking in the details, and stopping on the "fine points". His eyes must've lingered a little too long, because it wasn't a second later that she was shifting her position to be leaning onto the table.

"Is there something you're seeing?" She asked, her pressuring tone making it sound more like a threat than a question.

"Nothing of interest," Rick scoffed back.

"Well then your eyesight must be worse than I thought. Makes sense with someone of your senility."

It was then that the two found themselves exchanging glares across the table.

"And this...this is my dad, who I told you about before. Rick Sanchez," Beth forced a smile trying to lessen the ever-growing tension that now hung over the room. "How's about we start digging in."

"Great idea, Beth. Dinner looks great," Johnathan said with just a enough excitement to irritate his wife.

Everyone eventually settled in their seats and began to enjoy the dinner Beth had so graciously slaved over. Conversation ensued not too long after, and helped to create the illusion that the tension had gone. It was only until a rather awkward topic came up to shatter that illusion.

"So Cassi, I've been wondering. How did you come to be living with your sister and her family?"

It would've take being blind for someone to have not seen the tenseness that took over Candy's features. Johnathan offered her a sympathetic smile, but it did little to help. The only ones who hadn't reacted to the question were the kids and Cassi herself.

"Why don't you ask my sister?" She passed a look to Candy.

"Oh well… I don't want to talk about a topic that might make anyone uncomfortable," Candy awkwardly choked out.

"It doesn't make me uncomfortable to talk about. I just feel someone who knows _first hand_ as to why I'm living with you might be better at explaining it. So by all means, proceed in telling the neighbors how you blew up my house."

"You blew up her house!?" Morty said in disbelief.

"I did not blow up your house," Candy argued; obviously trying to make better of the conversation, "I just caused the fire that caused your house to blow up."

Although shocking, it was true. It happened around the time Cassi had just began to try and reconnect with her sister. She had business to attend to in some of the deeper regions of space and was to be gone for a couple of days, so she asked her sister if she could come over and feed her carnivorous alien plant, Mortimer. Things had been going smoothly until Candy found a pack of Cassi's cigarettes and decided to have a smoke. Unbeknownst to the younger sibling, Cassi didn't buy cigarettes from Earth. 'Not strong enough' she would say, and the foreign ingredients in her cigarettes took a lot of time to develop a tolerance to. An inhale here and an exhale there and fate was already set. By the time Candy had come down from her high, more than half the house was engulfed in flames.

-Flashback-

"What the hell happened!?" Cassi screamed looking on at the flames consuming her home.

Candy tried to answer, but any attempt at words stumbled out in a fumbling mess.

Cassi rubbed her temples; a habit she'd developed through her years. "Ok. Ok. Calm down, Cassi. As long as the fire doesn't reach the-"

She was instantly cut off from her own words when her house erupted with a violently intense explosion that fed into the already raging fire. The flames were now twice as big and there seemed to be more fire than house at this point. Cassi could only shoot daggers at her sister as her home was eaten by the dominant inferno.

Candy offered a struggling smile. " I saved your plant."

-Flashback-

After Candy finished the room was silent, other than the sounds of those who casually continued eating as if nothing had been said at all. No one was completely sure how to respond to that, but what harm could come from trying to perk up the situation?

"Hey uh… don't feel too down about it. I'm sure it could've happened to anyone," Jerry tried to lighten, but it only seemed to make it worse as Candy proceeded to bury her face in her hands.

"I'm so stupid," she sniffed.

"Great people skills, Jerry," Rick sarcastically quipped.

"They're better than yours," Cassi quipped back.

"Yeah well you don't shine too bright yourself. At least when I have something to say I'm upfront about it."

"You also seem to be upfront with being boorish, gross, and just overall distasteful. Tell me, do you actually try to be this rudimentary or is it just spewing out randomly from that piece of shit you call a brain?"

Yet again glares were being thrown across the table, this time accompanied by a stream of insults and profanity.

"Hey! Hey! That's enough out of both of you."

"Shut up, Jerry," both scientists snapped.

Slander continued to go about. Somehow through all the abusive language, the insults had turned into a full on debate about ice cream flavors to the relevance of school to eventually some advance scientific gibberish that none of the other family members could understand. None of the kids seemed too terribly rattled at their behavior. They'd seen enough of their relative's anger and outburst to barely be reactive to it anymore. It wasn't until guns were drawn that they acknowledged the severity of the situation. Everyone was in their own state of panic as Rick and Cassi locked their guns on one another, neither seemed willing to comply with the pleas of their loved ones to lower their weapons.

"Riiick! Th-this isn't necessary. Just put the gun away," Morty stuttered out.

"Aunt Cassi calm the hell down!" Drew grabbed her arm with Ash on her other one.

"I told you I had a bad feeling about this dinner," she said in her usual monotone voice, not really helping the situation.

Each scientist still had their weapon fixed on the other; triggers being traced over with a finger, ready to be set off at any given moment. The tension and hostility was so thick you could choke on it. Beth and Candy both went over to their kin trying to bring down the tension that had already seemed to be out of control. The last thing Beth wanted or needed was for her father to get shot; the same for Candy with her sister.

 _Ding! Ding! Ding!_

"Oh! W-would you look at that. The cobbler's done," Beth strained to say as she made her way to the kitchen. She returned to the table as fast as she could with the freshly baked dessert. "How's about we all just settle down _and put our guns away_ and enjoy this nice peach cobbler I made for us."

Neither of them really wanted to stand down, still simmering in their frustrations, but damn that cobbler smelled good; the sweet smell lingering in the air, melting away some of the tension. Though hesitantly, Rick and Cassi put away their guns and retook their seats. Their angry stares never faltering from each other. Dinner was silent from then on, though it felt more like a minefield. Everyone too scared to make the wrong move and be caught in the explosive consequence _._ Having these two across the street from each other was going to be quite...interesting.


	3. Chapter 3: Close Proximities

**Author Notes:**

 **I am so terribly sorry that I took so long to update this**

 **I am well aware that Frank died in the first episode. I am just too lazy to make up a character**

 **This chapter was originally supposed to be much much longer, but I figured the wait has been long enough. I promise the next chapter will be up as soon as possible. No slacking.**

* * *

"Have a nice day at your new school," Candy called to her kids as they were heading out.

"Alright, mom."

"Whatever."

As soon as the door was shut, Drew and Ash exchanged glances; something they normally did. It was just a sibling thing. Ash set out in front with her brother just a step behind. They strolled along at a rather lazy pace. There was no point in rushing as their mother always made them leave 10 minutes before the bus arrival time, even though their stop was merely a block away.

"Don't do it," Drew said breaking the silence as they walked.

"Don't do what?" his sister responded, not even bothering to turn back and look at him.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about. You do it at every school we go to."

"Well maybe I wouldn't if people wouldn't aggravate me."

"Everything aggravates you, Ash."

"Including you talking right now."

Drew couldn't help the disheartened sigh that left him. His sister was the single most difficult person he'd ever had the pleasure of knowing. Despite her small and delicate appearance, she was cynical, reserved, and could have quite the ill temper.

"Look, mom's pissed enough about sending us to this school. I'm sure the last thing she'd want is for you to get suspended _again_ for beating up some random idiot," he stated just as they arrived at the corner. Ash didn't respond so he assumed that his words had sunk in or maybe she was just ignoring him, he could never tell with her. They fell into a mutual silence as they waited for their bus.

Morty and Summer walked to the bus stop in silence, as they usually did, and were slightly surprised to see their neighbors were already there. Ash threw them a quick side glance, while Drew passed another small wave like before, but neither of them said anything. Morty and Summer couldn't help but take in their appearance; their uniformed attire and briefcases very different from the conventional clothing and backpacks they were used to seeing. They looked like they belonged to one of those expensive, uptight private schools, though they were sure their parents had mentioned that they'd all be going to the same school. The looks on their faces must've voiced their questions because Drew was quick to speak up.

"Our mom has very...specific taste."

"She's a spazzed-out control freak."

He threw Ash a scornful look as a warning, though he was sure it wasn't taken seriously.

"We're usually enrolled in private schools. This is actually our first time going to a public school. It's kinda weird switching schools in the middle of the year; me being in my senior year and Ash being a junior."

Summer and Morty almost found themselves gasping at the fact. Ash was a junior!? She was barely Morty's height, and her underdeveloped figure did nothing to support the fact.

" _You're_ a junior?" Summer spoke with both question and disbelief.

Through her years of adolescence, Ash had lost count of how many times she had been mistaken for younger, but the annoyance of it never lessened. She absolutely despised her brevity. It gave her the appearance of a child, and having a brother that towers over you doesn't help. And if that wasn't enough she had the physique of a board. She'd never admit it, but these features made her feel rather ashamed, and one, being as testy as Ash, could only take so many times of mistaken age.

Drew stiffened, risking a glance over at his sister. Clenched jaw, balled fists, and a glare that defined death itself. He'd seen this before and knew exactly where it was going. One of her fist shot up, but he was quick to catch her wrist, straining against his sibling's unusual amount of strength. His anxious stare pleaded against her scowl. It was scene that was all too familiar for the both of them: Ash lashing out and Drew doing everything in his power to hold her back. They stayed this way until the bus arrived and Ash ripped away from Drew's grasp. She brushed past them without a word and sharply treaded up the bus steps. She took a seat and quickly threw her case into the spot next to her to deter anyone (her brother) from sitting there. Drew took the seat behind her and Morty and Summer behind him. He leaned over the seat and offered a sort of anxious smile.

"Don't worry. She's like this with everyone."

* * *

Cassi was ready to scream, but stifled it into a frustrated groan. She'd been to 3 other planets already and hadn't found anything even remotely close to the piece of technology she was looking for. Was a hydraulic ion stabilizer too much to ask for? Now she was perfectly capable of making such a device, but something that technologically complex would've taken months, even for her, and she really didn't have the time or patience, so she continued searching through the marketplace, irately making her way through the crowd of alien individuals and growing more and more irritated as she did. She'd occasionally stop at a stand if she saw any potential to provide her with what she wanted but ultimately walked away with nothing. A few more hours and she was reaching her limit. Between coming up empty-handed and being around as many beings as she was, Cassi was already in the process of pulling out her portal gun when she saw it. There it was, sitting in all it's glory, front and center of one of the market's stands: a hydraulic ion stabilizer. The sight was almost enough to make the scientist smile. She once again began making her way through the swarm, so intent on getting through that she didn't even notice the conflict that would shortly ensue.

She reached out for the device just in time to meet another hand.

 _Oh Hell No_

Of all the planets, in all the systems, in all the dimensions, he had to be here. Cassi's momentary joy merging into pure loathing at the sight of the pointy blue-haired bastard she had come to detest, and with mutual feeling he returned her hateful stare. They both tightened their grip on the device, neither backing down anytime soon, and after the usual bout of banter and scorn things quickly turned more aggressive.

Completely disregarding the stand owner's alien cries, Rick and Cassi pulled the device back and forth, straining against each other for dominance, their glowers never leaving each other. The struggle was actually beginning to form a crowd, and a good amount of people had gathered around when the device suddenly slipped from Rick fingers sending Cassi backwards and the stabilizer flying from her own hands. They both watched in what felt like slow motion as it flew threw the air before colliding with the ground in a broken heap of parts.

"Look what you did!" Cassi yelled as she stood from the ground.

"What I did!? You were the one who threw it!"

"I didn't throw it. It slipped outta my hands because _you_ let go!"

"So it's my fault you couldn't hold onto something! Uh, newsflash: you're a chick. Your hand-eye coordination just naturally sucks. "

And at that Cassi could no longer hold back her anger. For a whole week her family, along with the neighbors, had been holding her back in her disputes with Rick, but they weren't here to get in the way now. One punch sent Rick to the ground and in an instant she was on top of him to deliver more. She got a few more hits in before Rick sideswiped her in the head and pulled out his gun. She knocked it from his hands and sent it sliding somewhere into the crowd that had begun to scream and cheer at them, some even placing bets on a winner. Cassi pulled her own gun, but Rick caught her hand before she could fire. He slipped his finger between Cassi's and the trigger, and they both struggled against each other until a turn of wrists and slip of fingers resulted in a fired shot. The beam bolted right into the crowd, sending bystanders scattering to get out of the way, and finally found a victim, blasting his head clean off. The now headless corpse was adorned in an assortment of black leather, spiked jewelry, and emblems, similar to the garments of the aliens that were gathered around it. Their uneven amount of eyes turned to Rick and Cassi as they began to pull out weapons and mount hovering bikes.

"Aw shit," the scientists synced.

* * *

Drew gave a disgusted grimace at the plastic tray of food in front of him. He'd heard things about public school cafeteria food, but he hadn't expected it to be this bad. The soggy lump covered in grayish-brownish sauce was definitely living up to its title of 'Mystery Meat'. Snatching a jello cup, he made his way from the line and went to search for a seat. He scanned over the cafeteria, browsing every seat and table until he spotted the wavy black locks he'd been searching for. Setting off towards his sister he was more than a little surprised when he was halted by a human roadblock. A girl with red hair and green eyes stood in his path, a smile on her face as she made a rather seductive approach towards him.

"You're one of those private school kids, right?" She asked, her voice dripping with enticement.

This was new. Drew was surprised at such a leisurely approach. Hell. He was surprised at the approach at all. People, especially other students, didn't usually come up to him, at least not when he was at his other schools. So the sudden advance had very much caught him off guard. He couldn't even find the words to give her a response, but she didn't seem too discouraged by it.

"The uniform gave it away. So mature. So chique."

"So what school are you from?" Another girl interjected, coming up and placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Was it from out of the country?" Came another girl.

Drew stuttered out a mess of words as he tried to make his way past them, but before he knew it he was being dragged to a table by a hoard of girls and guys, who could only be classified as 'the popular kids'.

Morty heaved out a sigh at the scene. Drew had only been here for the time span of the first few class periods and he was already more popular than he was. Was the reputation of private schooling really that alluring? And speaking of private schooling… Morty's eyes trailed over the students before coming to Ash. She sat in a far corner of the cafeteria and wore the usual disinterested stare as she shoveled a spoonful of fruit into her mouth. She was all alone, and while she didn't look at all bothered by the fact, Morty just couldn't shake the feeling of how wrong the sight looked. Maybe he was just used to seeing her with Drew, but either way his feet had already begun moving towards her.

"Hey, this seat taken?" Morty gave an awkward smile, but was only offered an unwavered expression in return.

Well it technically wasn't rejection.

Morty slid into the seat across from her and ineptly played around with the food on his tray, not really sure of what to say or two had never really had any direct interactions before the little incident that morning, and that didn't exactly seem to be shaping a path to friendship. Not to mention the fact that Morty was somewhat scared of her. She was obviously a lot stronger than she looked and had a glare that could freeze hell over, which helped her to carry the intimidating tone that she did.

"So um… How do you like public school?"

Ash glanced up from her tray and glanced back down, only scooping a few more mouthfuls of food. She stayed silent for a while, and Morty had thought she wasn't going to give a response.

"It's, in a word, mediocre. More than half the lockers are busted, school supplies are shabby, and the teachers can't teach for crap. It's no wonder why our mom didn't wanna send us here."

Morty was a little taken aback; less by what she said and more by how much she said. That was the most he'd heard Ash say in one sitting. She obviously wasn't much of a talker, so hearing her say so much was a bit of a change, and oddly enough gave Morty a sort of happy feeling. A small smile etched onto his face, only to be wiped away as he glanced over at another table. Before he could help it a saddened sigh fell from his lips and caught Ash's attention. Morty was staring over her shoulder, so she turned to see what had him so dejected. It was her turn to be taken aback now. There was her brother, smooshed in with some rather hormonal-looking teenagers and looking very uncomfortable. For a brief moment their gazes met and Drew sent a pleading look to her, mouthing the words 'Help Me' as one of the guys slung a muscular arm over his shoulders and locked him in a rather awkward-looking hug. Ash cocked a brow, but made no attempt at moving from her seat.

"Don't worry. None of those girls have a chance with him," she said taking another bite of food.

"Really? Because I wouldn't be able to tell from what I'm seeing right now."

"Trust me. My brother may be what girls consider 'handsome', but he's not that kind of guy; couldn't be if he wanted to. Drew's too socially awkward."

Hearing the words, Morty was able to regain the remanence of his smile. He honestly hadn't expected any such reassurance, especially not from Ash. She was actually doing something other than scowling at him. Maybe she was warming up to him.

"So what about you?" Morty asked.

"What about me?" She frowned, a hint of menace in her tone.

Maybe not.

Suddenly Morty's hair was roughly yanked and the blade of a knife dug against the skin of his neck. The familiar face of Frank Policky glowered down at him as he dished out a string of misplaced threats and insults, pushing the knife into Morty's neck, threatening to break skin. Morty attempted to argue against his bully's deranged menace, but the words failed him. His eyes inadvertently began to water and tears threatened to fall, as he glanced over to Ash hoping she'd provide some type of salvation, but she looked as if she hadn't even noticed the scene that was playing out right in front of her. She hadn't even looked up from her tray and was eating as though nothing was happening.

Being bullied was nothing new to Morty. It happened on a regular basis, with the usual beating, emotional or physical, being the end result. The students around would usually turn a blind eye to such public abuse, either too insensitive to care or too scared to step in and this time wasn't much different, but Morty couldn't help the slight twinge of hurt he felt as he watched the black-haired girl eat. It's not like they were friends, he couldn't even say they were acquaintances, but for some reason he hadn't expected such familiar neglect, at least not from her. She hadn't turned him down from the table nor made any attempt to move away from him; she'd actually made an effort to talk to him when he talked to her; she'd even made him smile with her reassurance. She obviously didn't totally loathe his existence, yet there she sat completely unaffected and not even offering a glance his way. He couldn't believe it. Was she really just going to sit there and ignore this? Morty was ripped from his focus with another jerk to his hair and the grimace on Frank's face growing darker. That was it, Morty was done for. So caught up in his moments to demise he didn't notice Ash stand up and empty her tray into a nearby trashcan. She walked back over, coming behind Frank, before brutally bringing her tray down across the back of his head, which shortly after hit the green-tiled floors with echoing thud that made the whole cafeteria go silent. Everyone had stopped their actions and trained their eyes on the commotion. Frank lay on the ground with a good-sized gash on the back of his head, a few droplets of blood were now plastered on the floor as well as the tray still in Ash's hand. Morty had been shocked into silence at her attack, and stood with a facial expression that read both confusion and awe.

"What?" She asked clearly unbothered, "I wasn't finished. I wasn't going to hit him with food still on my tray."


End file.
